I Hate Being a Burden
I am here to shovel you out.
No, I can handle it really.
Have you been out yet? The snow is very heavy.
I know but I can do it. Besides I don't want to bother you.
Chris, stop it. You aren't a bother - I love using my snowblower.
I close the door and cry - I hate be a burden
Fast forward 2 days
I think the heating problem is because the thermostat is broken. Why don't I come over and fix it?
No, I'll call the electrician.
Why? It's easy - I'll be over next weekend.
OK.I don't mention it again because once again - I hate being a burden.
Since becoming a widow I have had to learn to accept help. This is hard for me because many times I judge Dave would have been able to handle these little occurrences without so much fuss. So when trouble strikes I can get frustrated and even angry. But a few years ago a good friend told me that they too were sad about Dave's passing and offering to help was their way of honoring Dave. Each time someone offers to help I need to remember that they are doing this because they loved Dave and miss Dave too.
I have to let go and let others love Dave in their way. Still I cry because deep down I hate being a burden.